Freedom Lawyers of America

Your inbox is awash in spam, your boss is chuckling over your credit report,
and you've got a sneaking suspicion that Uncle Sam counts how many L�wenbr�u
you chug. Yes, your privacy's shot to hell, and you're tempted to shrug and
settle for an open source life. But privacy isn't like virginity, forever
lost after the first trespass. With some work, "reprivatization" is
possible. Use this three-tiered guide to pick a level of solitude. But be
warned: Going all the way off the grid is more Ted Kaczynski than Howard
Hughes.

Going

Diss credit: Want to be hard to find? Start by dashing off stern opt-out
letters to the big database companies and credit bureaus - Experian, Acxiom,
Equifax. These folks may make a mint peddling personal info, but they can be
cajoled into stopping. First, though, they'll make you jump through hoops -
like filling out a 1040-sized form or idling in toll-free hell. Junkbusters
JUNKBUSTERS has a good list of opt-out addresses.

Anonymize: Ditch your ISP and sign up with a service that lets you surf by
proxy, keeping your IP address concealed. Send email via an anonymous
remailer like Mixmaster, a digital middleman that scrambles timestamps and
message sizes. And if you're going to be advocating the violent overthrow of
the government or bragging about your cool new bong, make sure your remailer
routes messages through multiple machines.

Grok the fine print: Boring as it sounds, read the privacy statements that
clutter your mailbox around tax time and sever ties with companies that
admit, "Our privacy policy may change over time" - industry lingo for "We
reserve the right to screw you."

Going Further

Ditch the digits:Want to drop out?Start by rustling up a new Social Security
number.

The Social Security Administration doesn't accept paranoia as a criterion
for granting a new card, but it recognizes cultural objections and religious
pleas. One stratagem: Contend that your credit has been irrevocably damaged
by a number-related snafu, or that you live in fear of a stalker who knows
your digits. Once you switch your SSN, never use it. Instead, dole out
078-05-1120, an Eisenhower-era card that works 99 percent of the time.

Call cell-free: Use the humble pay phone. Mobile phones are being outfitted
with global positioning satellite chips to comply with an FCC mandate. By
2006, all wireless networks must feature 911-friendly tracking technology.
Marketers are cooking up ways to capitalize, like zapping burger coupons to
your Nokia as you stroll by a fast-food joint.

Pay full price: You may relish saving 10 percent on Prell, but deep-six your
buyers' club cards. Supermarkets and pharmacies haven't yet perfected the
art of data mining, but it won't be long. "If you're having a child custody
fight, they could subpoena your frequent-shopper cards and say, 'Look, he's
buying too many potato chips, he's hurting the kids,'" says Robert Gellman,
a Washington-based privacy consultant.

Gone

Move: Want to go completely off the grid? Start by moving - address changes
bedevil databasers. But don't buy a home. All those loan apps will blow your
cover. Residential hotels smell like cheap cigars and urine, but at least
you can register under a pseudonym. Give a fake address: 3500 S. Wacker,
Chicago, IL, 60616 - the front door for Comiskey Park.

Toss your cards:Pay cash for everything, and don't plan on a life of luxury.
Any (legal) cash transaction more than $10,000 triggers government reporting
regulations, which means you can forget about that Cadillac Escalade you've
had your eye on. Settle for the subway or bus, using coins rather than
prepaid fare cards, which keep a record of trips.

Go incognito: Facial-recognition gear will soon be ubiquitous in public
spaces. To fool the systems, invest in a pair of bulky aviator sunglasses
and a hat. If you fear being tailed, alter your gait every time you hit the
street - a pigeon-toed shuffle one day, a bowlegged amble the next. There
are also Central American plastic surgery mills, beloved of drug lords, that
can alter the loops and whorls on your fingertips. It'll set you back 10 Gs,
but then, Costa Rican doctors have been known to accept gold Rolexes in lieu
of cash.

- Brendan I. Koerner







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"Whenever legislators endeavor to take away and destroy the property of the
people, or to reduce them to slavery under arbitrary power, they put
themselves into a state of war with the people, who are thereupon absolved
from any further obedience."John Locke, 1690
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"Good intentions will always be pleaded for every assumption of authority.
It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the
people against the dangers of good intentions. There are men in all ages who
mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good
masters, but they mean to be masters." -- Daniel Webster
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"I am sure there was no man born marked of God above another for none comes
into the world with a saddle upon his back, neither any booted and spurred
to ride him."- Last words of Richard Rumbold before being hanged for
planning an insurrection against the tyrant Charles II, 1679
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