Freedom Lawyers of America

 Some old, and some new ones,,,,smile and enjoy!
 
Bumper Stickers..
 
Probably something here to offend EVERYONE!

Bumper stickers we missed by driving too fast

*  Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

*  Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

*  If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

*  Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

*  If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth
    Shut.

*  Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

*  If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could
    Drive A Little Better.

*  My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

*  Thank You For Pot Smoking.

*  To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

*  If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone Else
    And Seek Counseling.

*  Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

*  If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

*  Horn Broken...Watch For Finger.

*  It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put
    The Booger.

*  If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

*  You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking
    To Me!

*  The Earth Is Full - Go Home.

*  I Have The Body Of A God...Buddha.

*  This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening
    To Me.

*  So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.

*  Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

*  If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

*  The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My
    Name.

*  Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

*  Illiterate? Write For Help.

*  Honk If Anything Falls Off.

*  Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.

*  He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From
    The Next Exit

*  I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed
    Person.

*  You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

*  I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

*  Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

*  If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It
    Wrong...

*  Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

*  If You Can Read This, Please ! Flip Me Back Over...
    [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]

*  Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are
    Also Timed For 70 mph.

*  Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No
    Charge

*  If Walking Is So Good For You, then Why Does My
    Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?

*  Ax Me About Ebonics.

*  Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.

*  Boldly Going Nowhere.

*  Cat: Another White Meat.

*  Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.

*  Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That.

*  Heart Attacks . God's Revenge For Eating His
    Animal Friends.

*  Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car
    Window.

*  How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
    Admits He is lost?

*  If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle
    Them With Bullets.

*  Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids
    In Touch.

*  Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

*  My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

*  GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.

*  All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

*  Some people are only alive because it is illegal
    to shoot them.

*  I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

*  WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

*  BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

*  So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

*  I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

*  Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
 
AND THE GREATEST BUMPER STICKER EVER ...

POLITICIANS & DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED, FOR THE SAME REASON!

 

Zero Gravity:  When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this  problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $2 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures that ranged from below freezing to over 300C.

 The Russians used a pencil.


 Enjoy paying your taxes ..... they're due again.